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The Power Triangle
Central to the understanding of the Sociopathic Style™ is the
“Power Triangle”.
Classically, one enters the triangle from a power-down victim position,
or the power-up rescuer position. The stereotypical relationship style
in our society is for the female to be seen as victimized by the male.
This is certainly not always the case and we have seen many examples
of males being victimized by females, females by females and males
by males.
In the classical scenario the “Damsel in Distress” needs
the “Knight in Shining Armor” to rescue her as she is
helpless and cannot get herself out of her terrible life circumstance.
The hidden component of the triangle is the “Villain”.
Classically, in the Sociopathic Style™, the “Knight”
and the “Damsel” are the characters in the drama. Only
when the “Damsel” starts to gain strength does the “Villain”
come into the drama. The “Knight” needs the “Damsel”
to stay in distress or he doesn’t have a purpose for living.
As in all dualities, one side mirrors the other. The “Knight”
is utterly powerless without the “Damsel”, as the “Knight”
has no access to his core, his inner source of strength. He denies
his powerlessness and finds power through his chameleon-like ability
to be whatever the distressed “Damsel” needs. The “Damsel”
is incredibly powerful in her ability to manipulate the “Knight”
with her absolute, albeit unconscious, feigned inability to live life
from her own resources. Her all-powerful message to him is that without
the “Knight” she cannot live.
Now enters the “Villain”. As the “Damsel”
begins to receive what she needs, she begins to come more alive. The
“Knight” is then threatened by the “Damsel’s”
developing strength and becomes the “Villain” through
shaming her, diminishing her, blaming her for his woes and telling
her how sick she is. He aids and abets her belief that she cannot
live without him.
The degree to which she holds him as a credible authority, and the
degree to which she believes she needs him to survive, is the degree
to which he has power over her. Sometimes the authority and power
are real as in the relationship between a doctor and patient, professor
and student, attorney and client, clergyman and parishioner, parent
and child, employer and employee, haves and have-nots. The reader
can add many more categories of power dynamic relationships.
Because each person in the Sociopathic Style™ has emerged from
childhood with a deep suppression of their essential Self, having
also an inner experience of powerlessness, they must operate in all
relationships from positions within the power triangle. Being separated
from their inner strength, they must get power by playing the characters
of the drama.
Thus, the Sociopathic Style™ encompasses the victim as well
as the persecutor and the rescuer. The typical cultural view is that
of the medically diagnosable sociopath being a perpetrator on innocent
victims. In our research, we have moved beyond this to reveal a larger
picture of a relationship style that is engaged by all three characters
of the psychopathic phenomena. This means the victims are sciopathic
to some degree as well as the identified victimizing sociopath and
the rescuers as well. We have worked with many people who have been
in relationships with medically diagnosable sociopaths. We have discovered
that the Sociopathic Style™ relationship phenomenon is very
widespread -- perhaps universal -- in our society. In many ways, our
cultures foster the Sociopathic Style ™as an acceptable relationship
style.
Dr. John McCormick 3/22/05
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